Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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