No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
