every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
