I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
