That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
