Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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