He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
