she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
