So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize