I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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