Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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