hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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