isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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