Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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