Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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