quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
