So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
