i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
