I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I AM VODKA MAN
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize