Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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