I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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