Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
