I'm jealous of your bromance
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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