i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
should my penis look like a turkey
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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