i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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