in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
BRING THE BAGELS
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
