i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
