Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
