Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
