Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
