I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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