It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
