whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
