I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
