Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
His nipple licking is glorious
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