The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
