Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize