it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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