hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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