omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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