My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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