I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
