eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
