Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
