Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
