i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
