You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Houston, we have a blender
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
