I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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