hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
