Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
