There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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