I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My friends, they love my intelligence
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
