do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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