break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
