If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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